CAN I SHARE ALL OF THIS WITH YOU?

WHEN I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THE ENTRY I COULDN'T MAKE THE PRINT SMALLER. SO, IT LOOKS SILLY THAT IT'S SO BIG :)

I thought I would clear my head a little on my blog. Everything I read on my friends blogs INSPIRE me to be better, so I need to write more of my feelings and thoughts and not just post pictures. Really at this crazy time in my life it's amazing how much it means that my friends that are so far away (yet so close with blogger and facebook :) are such examples to me. Really thank you for all of you that write! you inspire me, you help me, you lift me up. It might sound crazy, but just knowing that you are out there going through such similar things helps me and helps me to figure out what to do! Thanks for all that you do and for keeping in touch and commenting writing, posting etc!

THESE ARE THE THINGS I AM TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW (I FEEL LIKE I'M CONFESSING IT TO THE WORLD ON HERE (OH CAUSE I REALLY AM SINCE I HAVEN'T GONE PRIVATE :)

• I have been feeling so GRATEFUL this year for all that we have, which is a great BLESSING! Actually a big help in that came from reading Kristie lou's blog at the beginning of the year where she posted the article titled "STUFF IS NOT SALVATION" (http://www.newsweek.com/id/174265. ) Thank you Kristie! See! that inspired me to start working on a family motto to really help our family REMEMBER all that we have and to be GRATEFUL

SO, after RACKING MY BRAIN (That's going a million miles an hour already) trying to come up with a jazzy/ cute poem that the kids could memorize to remember to be grateful and humble. I was reminded by the spirit to keep it simple and had the thought that I could just teach them President Hinckley's 6 B's.

1. Be grateful.

2. Be smart.

3. Be clean.

4. Be true.

5. Be humble.

6. Be prayerful.

Right? that's simple enough for little kids to remember? (Well hopefully it works out and they remember and those little words mean so much), but I plan to use them all year in FHE and having us recite them before every FHE to help us REMEMBER

Shew! that was long (and still getting longer)!
SO, I am also working on some behavioral issues (seems i always have some chart, game, incentive system etc. going) with the kids. The newest of which is the "token economy". 2 friends at church gave me this idea (bless them!!!!) (is anyone else doing it?) I am so excited about it, just learning it though. I started last week only giving tokens and now this week I'm giving and taking! I'll let you know how it's going! Seems to be effective so far, but the whole thing rides on my CONSISTENCY (ha, that's my core weakness, lack of it)

• The kids and I started reading Book of Mormon stories every night together. Other books are "extra" privilege right now before bed. Scriptures have to come FIRST, right:)? I really enjoy reading the stories to them and teaching them a small piece of the gospel every night (Makes me feel like a decent Mommy)
  
  
• I've been putting all my recipes in one place and trying the "Once a Month Cooking" idea. What an awesome concept?! to cook extra and then freeze the rest just to heat up for another meal. brilliant! Why didn't I figure that out long ago? I feel dumb! (this makes me feel like my life is in more order too, but I still haven't finished it. hmmm not uncommon for me)

~I guess the rest of the things on my mind don't "matter" as much in the long term scheme of things -

I'm tired and Rambling now

I'm also trying to DE CLUTTER. This involves lots of other small PROJECTS like Sorting kids clothes in the attic (so I don't always have clothes laying around that are worn out, to small, wrong season etc.)this bugs me so much that i just want to go up there everyday and get it done, but can't because that would mean ignoring 4 small children for several hours AND THAT SPELLS DISASTER!
What else what else.........
Oh, I'm dying to paint my entryway and hall (and I have to repaint the whole stinking hall bathroom because a maid came once and splashed toiled boil cleaner all over the wall. (Why would you want a maid to come if you had even more work to do after they left?)

I think I'm still nesting....and still babbling on and on (b/c I'm running out of colors to write what I want to say)

FRIEND TO FRIEND, IT'S OK! TRULY, LET ME KNOW IF I'M GOING CRAZY! (k?)

I guess the LASTS, but not the LEASTESTS would be organizing my papers and DESK/MONEY/BUDGET/ FOOD BILL. ETC. (any great ideas on these are more than welcome !:)

There are probably OTHER little things, Because the list of MOTHERHOOD goes on and is endless (is it this crazy for others of you with 4 kids?) How do I juggle it all? I know it's literally on a wing and a prayer (well, lots of prayers everyday) Really I am so BLESSED by my Heavenly Father, for all of the help that he lends me.... (only He knows how much HARDER it would be without Him)

Thanks for LISTENING or just LOOKING a little or GLANCING. Whatever it is you do (on my not so dazzly/sparkly blog)

And thanks again for all of the HOPE and HELP all of you offer!

Tomorrow is the beginning of another crazy, beautiful, happy, hopeful, tearful, anxious, prayerful, loving, smiling,humbling, laughing DAY! (I know I missed some)

As a reminder I think I'll end every entry with "I am so GRATEFUL"! Because I feel it and really want to REMEMBER this feeling (thanks Mary for your inspiration there and Utahna for posting I am so blessed at the end of every entry!)

I hope you all see the humor in this :)~

SNOW finally!

We've been waiting and I was getting worried that this year might pass again without snowing enough to go sledding. Well my brother-law took Jaden and Jocelyn sledding behind our townhouses and Jaden busted his lip going down on his stomach. Apparently he went right into the fence. Ouch! He came home bleeding, but when I asked if he wanted to stay in he reassured me he was fine! Ok? Anyway, last year we built a snowman, but this year the snow was way too flaky. I hope you enjoy the pictures!


Our townshouse with our pathetic dead tree in the front

Uncle Devin came over and took the kids out to sled and play!

Us - Jonas (he was snoozing inside. warm and cozy)

Me and my sweet sweet Jacob

Jocelyn just wouldn't give up on the snow plowing

Trust me there were about 3 other shots of her doing this!

Even though the snow was lousy for snowman Jaden wouldn't
give up. He did this for about an hour (obviously wasn't getting far)

Jocelyn wanted to clear the neighbors car too!

Jacob in his snow gear (Jaden's old coat and boots) He just
toddled around happy the whole time!

portraits of the kids!

Ryan took these of the kids in our living room with the new camera we got for Christmas! He is still practicing. I am just grateful for his efforts! Pictures mean everything to me, especially when they all grow up so fast!

JADEN



JOCELYN




JACOB



JONAS

funny Christmas bloopers!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

So Funny that we can never get a good picture! Now that we have this many children it's even harder. It's always very stressful, but at least we can look back and laugh at ourselves. We had to bribe the kids with suckers and Jacob didn't know what to do, he just kept crying and begging for Jaden and Jocelyn's suckers. He didn't understand that he had to wait until after the pics were taken. At least Jonas just sat there, but of course he doesn't know how to smile. Oh and I forgot to mention that we will forever know that Jacob was teething (yes STILL). I look gay in my blazer with my hair pasted to my head, but oh well. Jaden is so good looking on camera unless you tell him to smile. I guess that's what friends are for, still loving you even at your worst :)
Anyway, this is the best we can give you again. At least you can get an idea of what we look like together :)
We miss and love all of you! Thanks for visiting!

Finally!

Jonas Eli Huling






I still can't believe I birthed him naturally! My biggest baby yet!



First few hours.



Sleeping soundly!



Not that great of a photo right after marathon birth!



Jocelyn and Jonas



Funny picture of Jaden! He has such a big smile!



Jacob preferred playing in the curtains to holding his new brother. After all,
he's still a baby too :)



Jonas and mommy!



Jacob is very expressive these days! He really does like the baby
and now he says "baby." It is a big deal for him, since he says very
little!


Well it finally happened. 40 weeks and 5 days Jonas Eli Huling decided to come! I had been feeling some cramping that day. Well I did have the midwife strip the membranes, but really I felt very little because I was pretty ready anyway. Then I went to Shoppers that night because they told me to get in a walk and that was all I could manage to do that day! I couldn't understand why I needed donuts and oreos and chocolate bars. I found myself stopped in the aisle like a child telling myself I had to choose and put something back, but I said "oh well, I want all of it". I had a few other decent contractions in the store, but nothing that different than the norm, so as I was ready to check out I started feeling my eyes close in the store and thought I should get a good nights rest and go to bed. I was tossing and turning a little bit that night, but then when I awoke at 4:30 out of a dead sleep. I wandered if anything was happening (I think I just dismissed it because I had been feeling things for weeks that didn't lead me to the hospital). I dozed back off and another 10 minutes later I was startled by another contraction. I guess I should have thought that it was real by then because I was starting to naturally move to my hands and knees to cope with the contraction. I headed to the bathroom insisting to Ryan that I had to go before we left. He kept standing at the door saying "I think it's the baby". I kept saying "no, I really have to go to the bathroom before we leave." ha ha. Soon after that I yelled out to Ryan to call his mom. I called my neighbor who was going to be my unoffical doula (she was going to come to the hospital, but couldn't that morning due to a work meeting), but she said she was coming right over so I could go to the hospital right away. the contractions wer now 1-2 minutes apart and we were heading to the hospital (30 minutes away by 6 am) The car ride there felt like death. It was so cold and so hard to sit straight up with the contractions. By the time we got there I could barely walk to the front doors. When we got inside Ryan got me a wheelchair and I leaned over the security counter while I waited. The guard seemed unphased (he must see this often). I joked with him and said "I guess you know where we're headed" (suprising that I still had a sense of humor) Once we got to our floor I had a small calm before the storm. I was so anxious to get into my bath, hoping there would be some small escape from the pain. Once I got to the room my midwife came and checked me. She said I was 8-9 cm and my bag of waters was bulging out. She said she didn't think I had time to get into the bath. She offered to break my water, but I was scared of facing any worse pain than I was already in. After 10 more minutes of suffering I decided to let her, because I couldn't hold onto the pain and pressure the bulging water was causing. After she broke the water, everything of course only got worse. I spent most of my time draped over the back of the bed on my knees and then on my hands and knees until right before pushing. Through all of this the sun was rising and that was spiritual and symbolic as well! As I noticed the sun and I felt halfway somewhere else. I could feel the Godliness of the experience within the surreal pain. I could feel my mother's presense and that she was letting go of another part of me that she'd held close it Heaven. I shed a tears and was suddenly very grateful for her sake that Jonas was late. I know that she cherishes every minute with my children before they come here. At least that's what I believe.

The pushing was just as painful, but just a different pain. Well, no it was worse actually! It was a total of 11 minutes! I felt really like I just couldn't do it and I was screaming "just get him out now". Once I had his head out The midwife and Ryan told me to look down at him as a sign that I was almost done, but I told them that I couldn't because I knew that I still had more work to do and I just wanted to get it done! Soon Jonas was out, but I was still gatering myself as he laid on my chest and we waited for the cord to finish pulsing. After about 10 minutes I was able to be a little more coherent and really look at Jonas' beautiful face and feel the fullness of what I had just done. Wow! I did it and now I really could feel that because I did this I could do anything! I knew my mental strength and the strength of my body. Because even though it was an inevitable thing I could feel everything within in determined to do what I had chosen from the beginning of this pregnancy I could feel everything from within (all of my will) going to this child. To bring him into this world. It was truly a Godly experience! I could feel nothing but utter happiness and a great sense of accomplishment and of course a complete love for this baby that I felt I just made a sacrifice for.
My recovery has been great. I have just emotionally been on cloud 9 since Jonas was born and I am up and around mostly around the house. I don't get out much yet, but that's ok. It is so cold here and I want to protect Jonas from the germs of the season. Don't worry I'm not thinking of exercising for at least another few weeks. I've learned that the inevitable really is inevitalbe, so why not enjoy it before it comes and you have to do it anyway (not that I don't enjoy exercising, I love it!) but I want to enjoy this new experience without too much pulling at my time.
I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas and know that I really love all of you and think of you often! I can't wait to catch up on your blogs!!
Thank you for visiting!

40 weeks and 3 days

I know I haven't been on here in a while! I will catch you up on all of the details later, but I've been basically laboring since 34 weeks and I'm quite tired of it! Anyway, the plan was to endure and let baby come whenever he wants since I've been induced with all other babies. I really wanted to see what my body would do, but I have to say I'm getting pretty tired of being 3-4 cm and feeling pain and contractions that turn into nothing. I honestly don't know if I can endure another week of this! Let's see what the doctor says tomorrow and I will keep you posted. Again, I am so sorry I've been consumed with the last part of this pregnancy and I will update asap, hopefully with new baby pictures!
I am thinking of all of you still and hope you are well! I will comment on your blogs soon!


40 weeks and 1 day.......




Jocelyn is her Grandma's "mini me!"




She looks more like her than me!